The enigma of counting your blesses.

I have so many things I am so very thankful for. I am thankful for coming from a background where I was poor. It made me realise how grateful you should be for the money coming in for a job well done. My mother and father- my father predominately, worked shifts in the night and the day when I was a small child. My fondest and most earliest memories were when he came in from a nights work and got into bed, me behind him snuggling into his big warm protective back. I asked him if he could save me from an atomic war ( I was kinda obsessed with the mushroom cloud as a child) He said ofc not.  It was at the moment I learnt about keeping things real.

I count my blessings when I walk past the canals every day and clutching a starbucks, I head to work where I teach wonderful children who drive me mad yet they keep my young and active and full of wonderment.

I am grateful to my two brothers, my oldest a stranger to me until I grew up, but he became the brother I needed, one I can say anything to and he will, in his way tell me what he thinks honestly. My younger brother- same age as my boyfriend yet he seems so much younger....but represents my fun side....we have the same sense of humour...the laughing I have done with him would make tears spring like niagra falls from your eyes. I couldn't wish for two better siblings. My mum, what can I say? I wasn't always the best daughter to her. I was far too much on team father. But I always knew she was a woman who wouldn't think twice about laying her life down for anyone of us. If I am half the woman she is, Id die a happy woman. I know if my brothers read this they will laugh at me and tell me to stop boozing. But with a drink or not, even they know this is true.

My dad, my whole world. His not even in this world and he is still my whole world. I'm a stubborn mule like him, but I have a soft vulnerable side just like him. Wherever he is I raise a drink to him and its the only thing I look forward to about dying, to hopefully (if all this religion stuff is true) see my dad again. We wouldn't even hug, so not our style. First thing we would say to each other would be a piss take.

I've rambled,  I'm happy to be alive. I'm strong enough to deal with what life throws at me. Just don't take my mum or my brothers. Not for a while any ways.